It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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