i just google imaged poop.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
