She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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