i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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