I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
