you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
