Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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