I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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