It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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