Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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