I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
