you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
