at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize