will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
