you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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