he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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