never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
