So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize