I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
