THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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