One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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