And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I have already put on my inside pants.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
