North Korea, Best Korea!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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