Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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