kristin has been a bad kristin
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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