just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
