I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
