proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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