Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
