i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
