Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
