i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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