hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Mom said you looked used
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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