i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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