i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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