They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
