chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
