She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How external is "for external use only"?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
