last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
