You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
