just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize