I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
