last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
