I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
