Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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