9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
