He is an equal opportunity slut.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
