i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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