my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
