take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
This is the high leading the old right now
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
