yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
