this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
