Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
