yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
