Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My liver just broke up with me...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
