I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
