I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
