We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
