i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Operation Purity has been aborted
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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