She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
